I've Been Selfish Lately & I Love It
It's Sunday morning, I've been up since about 6a lollygagging and thinking about what my life has been over the past few months. To some, it would look like it's a complete mess, but to me it's not as bad as it could be.
I'm currently unemployed, working on making my dreams come true and I'm not homeless yet...so there's a lot to be grateful for in this scenario.
But with that, I've reflected on my journey in the past three months and I've realized I've been SO selfish. Like seriously, a very selfish human being. You know what, though? I've loved every moment of it and I actually ENCOURAGE everyone else to be selfish.
How have I been selfish? Well I haven't just been stingy in a general sense of the word, I've been this way for multiple facets of my life. Let me break it down for you.
I've been selfish with my time.
You know what I've realized about people? They LOVE to waste other's time...if you let them. Whether it's unknowingly or intentionally, I cut it all out. My time is SO valuable to me with everything I have going on.
No, I don't want to waste it going out on the town being cute when I can be at my desk working on my client's pitch letters or audit. Quite honestly with all the time it takes to get dolled up to go out for an event, actually go to the event and come home, I could be doing more things at home to propel my brands forward.
So I quit wasting my time. Unless something has a dual purpose or a purpose greater than "just going out for the sake of going out", I'm not here for it. Time is valuable and I'm just not in a place where I feel the need to spend it on crap. #JustKeepingItCandid
I've been oh so selfish with my coins.
Listen here, I've gotten into the habit of doing monthly expense spreadsheets for my personal finances and there are SO many coins wasted on foolishness. If I could add up all the senseless money I used to spend, it would probably make me sick.
So what changed my spending habits? I think it's just the stage that I'm at in life. I've realized I want to invest in experiences and tools that will enable my long term success, rather than shoes. This isn't a new thought process as it was evolving in my mind around the time I moved away from being a fashion blogger.
But if you really think about it, what VALUE does that extra pair of black shoes add to your life? In a sense I'd actually argue I've become a minimalist because I've slowly been removing the clutter in my life and only spending intentionally on items that ADD value to my life rather than take it away.
I've been selfish with my support.
I've touched on this topic here and there within larger concepts, but the company you keep says a lot. In the past two years I've disconnected myself with so many people and most recently someone who was extremely close to me.
Let me back up a bit for this topic and share that people tend to think I am an evil, crazy person based on my facial expressions. (This has been my struggle since high school) If you get passed my RBF facials, you'll find I'm actually one of the most caring people you could have in your corner who WILL give you anything I can within reason.
RELATED: I Support Women Who Support Women
With that being said, I've learned to hold back on my support for others because I realized we live in a world of takers. In the past year I've had people CLOSE to me take campaigns, steal content and overall take my support for granted. So I pulled back the support I share because I want to and really take in people's actions before welcoming them with open arms into my circle.
You know what happened when I started being selfish? I lost some "friends". I lost some "connections".
You know what else happened? I let go of negative energy. I dodged a few bullets. I FOUND myself. I lost the sliver of feeling obligated to please people. I started making more money with my blog.
Realistically, looking at everything I lost and gained, I'm winning. We live in a world where being selfish and putting yourself first is frowned upon. You know what I have to say about that....
If I'm not putting myself first, who is?
I'll wait for answers. I realized in my circle I wasn't first on anyone's agenda and the people in my life who truly supported me were putting their goals and dreams first in their lives. They were being selfish with how they spent their time, coins and support, and rightfully so!
I was investing in all the wrong things in my past and when I stopped, so much changed. But looking at it all now and playing the motions through my head, I wouldn't change anything that's happened for the world. Whether a good or bad experience to go through, I GREW and growth is something you need to truly evolve into the beautiful person you were born to be.
So to anyone out there who's on the fence about actually taking the leap and putting yourself first...DO IT. You may lost some things, a few relationships, etc., but you will gain so much as a person and in understanding your purpose. I urge every single person out there, especially my millennials, to be selfish.
[Click To Tweet] "Don't be scared to BE SELFISH. Be selfish with your time, coins & support." -@shescandid via http://bit.ly/2pxjW1O
I'm curious to know if you've been selfish lately and if so, what your experience has been with the people in your life! Share any experience you've had with me in the comments below. Let's #KeepItCandid.